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that make me realize what I am missing.
It would be nice to have someone to come home to, share a cup of tea and our days.
Go out to hear a band, and dance is if we are the only ones in the room.
Read side by side in our ugly pajamas, cook some far out dish together.
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And wake up the next morning, knowing that last night will happen again.
With all of my friends coupling up, getting married, making babies...
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I have had some bad luck with men. So please be a nice guy who is looking for sweet lady seeking hot sex Santa Fe the same kind of thing.
Really, if you want to mess around, or just have fun, pick someone else who has not already been through the wringer.
I know this makes me sound like a bitter pessimist. Which is far from the truth.
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Physiy, I am fat (bbw, curvy, whatever 'nice' terms you want to apply to extra weight), 5'7", white, brown hair, not bad looking ;)
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And I've lived with that in my own situation. I want so badly to have my husband do what I want in the bedroom. I feel like he'd like it too, if he could *only* my side, and it's really hard to not badger him about it. Of course, he won't be badgered, and is likely to leave the room if he feels that badgering is happening. I find that going at it the same way again and again is not effective at all. There was a time in which I felt like I wasn't being allowed to complete my statements about what I wanted in the bedroom, and when I finally did that, it was quite freeing. I don't need to say all of that in the same way again. That would certainly be badgering. There's also a line between letting go of a topic because you understand that it's a final answer, and letting go because you realize that now is not a good time to discuss it. In the second case, I think it's OK to bring it up again. I did this a few times when I though I was being cut off, and not allowed to say the whole thing that I wanted to say. I felt like I was rolling over and becoming a doormat for the sake of his feelings and discomfort, and it made me really resentful. I'd try again later, and he thought I was nagging, and I had to really insist that I hadn't finished my thought. It was good for both of us when I finally just decided to push through it and puke it all out, damn the consequences. I knew I was going to explode if I didn't say it. So I said it. We talked about divorce. We talked about a lot of things. And things got better, slowly. Not exactly how I'd like them, but I am not yet of the universe, and I understand that. I think that once I knew that I had fully expressed that I saw a disconnect and it was painful to me, I somehow was able to let go of the urgency of the whole thing and be less pushy about sex in general. He's happy with the progress, too. He's enjoying himself. So there are certainly wrong ways and right ways to go about communicating. Yes, most definitely.
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